I've been thinking about the Armenian aspect of heritage lately. I think it has come about ever since I started reading the book called Addressing Cultural Complexes in Practice: A Framework for Clinicians and Counselors. It's made me think about the different aspects of culture that I belong to and live in. Yesterday I had to pick up a book from a friend. We planned to meet at her church before she went in to teach Sunday School. Her church happens to be the main Armenian Orthodox church in Lebanon - the sister church of Echmiadzin in Armenia. I arrived early, and walked in to the courtyard. The courtyard is quite large, surrounded by a high wall on all sides. The wall secludes the church and monastery from the traffic of the highway and the buildings all around behind it. Standing in the courtyard, I could feel the sea breeze coming at over the wall from the west. The tall palm trees swayed in the morning mist. A sweet scent greeted my nose from the church - candles and incense. The service was already in session, and churchgoers walked up the steps and into the church hall. Sounds of chants wafted out through the door. I've only been in there on one occasion - for the funeral of an old friend's father.

Passing by the church I moved on towards the stone benches situated under some trees. Next to the church itself stands a small shrine dedicated to the victims of the Armenian Genocide in 1915. I did not enter it this time. I remembered well what was inside: glassed in skulls and bones of victims from that atrocious time. They collected the bones from the Der Zor desert, where another shrine stands. Many died in the desert from Turkey down through Syria.

All around the courtyard stand various structures - chapels, meeting halls, dormitories for the preists and students in the priesthood. It was quiet there. It brought on the feeling of wanting to sit and stay there for awhile. I sat down and waited for my friend. I thought of how at one time the Armenian church was the only stable system to hold the Armenian heritage in the face of the enemy trying to murder it. That's why there is such a strong link between the church and the Armenian language and history. So complex.

There are days where I feel a very strong attachment to this aspect of my culture, even though I don't have the mentality of the Armenian. It is something I'm still discovering and trying to understand.